Forgiveness is hard to do

Lately I’ve been trying to practice the idea of forgiveness.  Any self-help, yogi guru, motivational speaker and positive person says that holding grudges let’s the person you are angry with control your life, if only a little piece.  This gives them the power, and that’s exactly what I don’t want.

This isn’t any easy practice for me.  I find it really hard to forgive, because I trust everyone wholeheartedly.  I’ll give you the chance, but if you mess with me I will never forgive you – but now that’s changing. 

I don’t want the people who have crossed me to control my life.  I don’t want these people to hinder my ability to be open to love.  I want to forgive and forget.

So, I’m really trying; trying harder than I ever have to let go of these feelings and to let these people go from my life.

Since my 2 and ½ year relationship ended last year, I started to think more about myself. I always thought this was a pretty selfish thing to do. Thinking about myself always felt bad. But I’ve begun to realize that if I don’t think about myself and sometimes put my needs in front of others I start to lose who I am.  How can I be open to helping and loving others when I don’t 

listen to what I want and need?

In order for me to be open to others and give my friends and family all the love they deserve is for me to let go of these negative feelings I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for so long. So it’s time to forget. Time to forget how much you hurt me. Time to forget how you once made me feel good and bad. All the people I feel who have ever wronged me are physically out of my life, now it’s time for them to be emotionally out of my life.

Changing the world one person at a time

Raise your hand if you like to read depressing books.  Now I can’t see any of you, so I expect to see a few comments about some of the books you’ve read that aren’t the fluffy, feel good kinda books.

I like reading these types of books, because a lot of the time they make you think; they expose you to issues, tough issues, which many shy away from.  The book I’m reading right now is probably the most depressing book I have EVER read.  It’s called Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide.  The writers of the book, Nick Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, won the Pulitzer Prize for their tremendous work.

As the title suggests, the book talks about the violence and atrocities women are subjected to in poor countries.  This book has opened my eyes to some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine – worse than death – and some of the most amazing stories of overcoming adversity I have ever heard.  While the book tells stories of horror and      wonderment all in one package, it spreads the word of the importance of educating women.  As women become more educated the more they are able to fight back against the cruelties they face and make their own decisions.

While this book is definitely the most depressing piece of writing I have ever undertaken to read, it is also the most rewarding.  To hear the stories about how women in very poor countries rise above stereotypes and fight oppression is amazing.  To hear what goes on outside our North American bubble truly makes me feel so lucky to have been brought up here in Canada.  

But it also gets me thinking about my sisters’ abroad, and what could I possibly do to help them in some way.  According to the book, “more girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the battles of the twentieth century.”  This stat is outrageous! I hope this blog post doesn’t scare you from reading this book, but encourages you to read it and want to help change how women are treated at home and abroad.  Women everywhere need our help; we should do whatever we can, because we could have so easily ended up in their place.

Graduation, I can smell you you're so close

Today was the second day of the IPPPs. For those of you who aren’t a part of the CreComm Mafia, the IPPPs are the Independent Professional Project Presentations. You’ll probably remember me telling you about the rock concert I put on, the Children’s Rehab Rockout, for the Children’s Rehabilitation Foundation. Well, today Christa and I presented our project to our peers, teachers, parents and supporters. This presentation marks the official end to this year-long-independent project. This means I am one step closer to graduating – yay!!

Before we presented today, we had to come up with a presentation, which had to include some sort of visual element. Christa and I produced a video to showcase the event night with footage shot by two amazing CreComms *hugs* Jeff Ward and Jérèmie Wooky. Let me tell you that putting this video together was pretty much a disaster. The editing part wasn’t hard the part, but all the technical difficulties we faced were a pain in the ass. I won’t bore you with ALL the problems we had, but let’s just say it was down to the wire, on the eleventh hour and any other cliché that demonstrates the fact it almost didn’t get done on time.

But I digress. The video got made and that is that. Since you all probably want to see it so bad I will post it on the blog sometime early next week. Most importantly, though, we presented today and it went as smoothly as I hoped. Christa and I were a little nervous. The nervousness only hit me when I was sitting a lunch with my parents. All of a sudden I felt, “oh, wow! In just a few hours I’ll be presenting my IPP to so many people that are important to me! Eeeekkk.” But it went off really well, and as far as I’m told I didn’t look nervous and I did an excellent job – except, Miss Sandra Klowak informed me, “My paper was shaking a bit.”

All you CreComms past and present know this means my IPP is done! And I am one step closer to graduating. I can’t believe it. It’s been what seems like a long road. First, three year of university. Then, 2 years of CreComm, which often times felt longer than my three years at university but a million times more fun.

I’ll miss you CreComm, but not enough to want to go back J. To all my instructors, thank you for all the valuable lessons you’ve taught me. And to all my classmates, you are all amazing people whom I’ve come to know and love. This is honestly the best thing I’ve ever done.

The Power of love

I couldn't help myself, I love these cheesy karaoke videos

I was inspired to blog today after reading Caitlin MacGregor’s blog, lookingforloveonline.com.  For the last 8 months or so she’s been putting herself out there on online dating sites to see what all the fuss is about, and if you really can find your “true love” online.  As a newly single person, I too contemplated looking for love online.  I was actually surprised to find out that quite a few of my CreComm friends have also been trying the online dating thing.  Berea found a smoking, hot hottie who sounds like an awesome guy on plentyoffish.com.

I’m newly single, but by no means waiting for the one who got away to come back.  I’m completely over him, and I feel empowered to be a twenty-something-singe lady.  I’ve started checking out my options, but with the last month of school nipping at my heels I’m in no hurry to start anything serious with any one specifically – give me a couple of months, though, and I will probably change my mind.  So needles to say, I’ve stayed away from the online dating thing.  Maybe I’m not ready to deal with some of the weirdos that like to message good-looking, non-crazy girls – at least that’s how I like to think of myself.  Or maybe I still want to try the old fashioned way by going out there and meeting people face-to-face, and then maybe letting them say something dirty to me, LOL. 

I feel like now more than ever I could totally go up to that hottie across the room and introduce myself.  It’s amazing how a break up can change a person.  Not a lot, but just enough to feel better about yourself and a lot more confident.  I’m no longer afraid to be alone, if that’s how things work out for me.  No longer will I settle for some guy that shows me a little bit of attention.  No longer will I suppress what I’m looking for in a person, because I’ve found someone.  It’s time to be a little selfish and start putting what I want in front of what someone else wants.  Ultimately, it’s my life and I have to live it and I want to make it as awesome as possible.