Forgiveness is hard to do

Lately I’ve been trying to practice the idea of forgiveness.  Any self-help, yogi guru, motivational speaker and positive person says that holding grudges let’s the person you are angry with control your life, if only a little piece.  This gives them the power, and that’s exactly what I don’t want.

This isn’t any easy practice for me.  I find it really hard to forgive, because I trust everyone wholeheartedly.  I’ll give you the chance, but if you mess with me I will never forgive you – but now that’s changing. 

I don’t want the people who have crossed me to control my life.  I don’t want these people to hinder my ability to be open to love.  I want to forgive and forget.

So, I’m really trying; trying harder than I ever have to let go of these feelings and to let these people go from my life.

Since my 2 and ½ year relationship ended last year, I started to think more about myself. I always thought this was a pretty selfish thing to do. Thinking about myself always felt bad. But I’ve begun to realize that if I don’t think about myself and sometimes put my needs in front of others I start to lose who I am.  How can I be open to helping and loving others when I don’t 

listen to what I want and need?

In order for me to be open to others and give my friends and family all the love they deserve is for me to let go of these negative feelings I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for so long. So it’s time to forget. Time to forget how much you hurt me. Time to forget how you once made me feel good and bad. All the people I feel who have ever wronged me are physically out of my life, now it’s time for them to be emotionally out of my life.